The hopeful, helpful, empowering guide for when you don't feel like having sex

Why do we have sex? I was shocked by my own reasons….

Why do we have sex? I was shocked by my own reasons….
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Have you ever really thought about it?

With the boyf away this week, my sex drive has taken a nose dive.

I’ve had a lot of time on my hands to think, and what I’ve been pondering recently is about why we want to have sex.

Obviously, the main reason for sex is reproduction (at it’s most basic level).

Luckily for us women, the invention of contraception has meant that now sex doesn’t necessarily result in pregnancy (woohoo!).There’s also tons of women out there that can’t get pregnant who have sex (e.g. after the menopause, can’t concieve) and in same-sex relationships, procreation isn’t possible.

So if we’re not bonking to get knocked up, what motivates us to have sex?

Why do we have sex?

Scientists believe that our sexual desire serves us a number of purposes.

Whether it is for physical pleasure (e.g. toe-curling orgasms) or for intimacy (love, snuggles, warmth and affection) or for procreation (its baby time!), sex can be a most excellent exchange between two people.

It is often the motivation to get one of these things (pleasure/intimacy/babies) that means we want to have sex.

We are excited by the thought of that person or item. And we then decide that we want to take actions to obtain our goal.

How much you actually obtain of those things, however, are obviously varied depending on who you are bonking, and why. There’s also some rather unsavory reasons why some people have sex found in a scientific study (read more on that here).


What motivates YOU to have sex?

I spent some time thinking about what are the reasons why I have. I did a little doodle brainstorm. And I was shocked at what I found.

Why do we have sex?

My main reasons are:

  • To feel closer to my partner
  • I feel like I should
  • To orgasm

So in a nutshell, I want sex for intimacy, social obligation, and to reach a goal. I’m so surprised that pleasure is missing from my list 🙁 I need to have a good old think about my own desires and what I like during sex. I know what I need to work on!

How about you, why do you have sex? Let us know in the comments!


Mother Pearl


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