Have you ever noticed most sex drive articles promise a lot?
Most proclaim that if we follow their tips, we’ll be cured!
They declare that “in 30 days we can trampoline our way to a better sex drive with their advice”. Or “after you read this article on the benefit of blowdrying your pubic hair your libido will magically get higher” (or insert similar click bait headline here).
The truth is little pearls, I don’t think its that simple.
I’ve done a lot of research on sex drives. I’ve googled the shit out of any kind of search query you can imagine. My search history is littered with the desperate musings of a sad vagina, and I’ve been to many a bizarre corner of the internet in my quest for help.
Why you should be skeptical about “quick fix” sex drive articles…
The first thing I realised is, the internet is crammed with sites that promise to tell you how to improve your sex drive!!
There is so much information out there on boosting your libido. The internet is literally bursting with tips, ideas, advice, food to eat, food not to eat, sex positions to try, ways to spice up your sex life. These bloody sites are two-a-penny, and while some are more medical/sexual health type sites, others are less benign and aim to make a profit from reinvigorating our deflated sex drives.
But ultimately, when I read these, they seem to quickly reel off advice without it ever seeming to be tried and tested.
Some sites try to sell you a pill, or a sex toy, or a type of CBT that will change your thinking. Others want to send you to some crazy mystical retreat where you can uncover your inner goddess and connect with your sexy squirrel spirit who will unleash your wildest sensual side! (very niche).
It can all feel a bit superficial, baffling, disingenuous, expensive, or just downright not about your best interest.
So little pearls. I’m not going to write a token article about reinvigorating your vagina that is “5 ways to boost your libido” or “10 foods to eat to set your vagina on fire!”. If our want to have sex could be fixed in less than 10 steps, I’m pretty sure we women would’ve smashed that already!
I think it’s sometimes unhelpful to think we can “cure” ourselves by just reading a couple of tips. Sure, that might work for some women, and good for you! But most will be blaming themselves for not eating right, doing enough exercise, being sexy enough, eating enough cabbage or whatever it is… and that’s completely counterproductive. The more you stress about your sex drive, the more it becomes a problem.
But the good news is, I believe you can learn to manage your sex drive in a way that feels right for you, and this blog is dedicated to doing just that!
I prefer to think of learning about your sex drive as a journey of getting to know yourself, and I aim to give you a whole toolkit of resources on how you can do that, not just a casual nod on a wider website about sex and relationships.
This isn’t a blog about how you have sex, who with and when. There’s plenty of other fab places that do! I just blog about how to get you there.
So each week I’ll update the blog with news stories, tips I’ve tried and my experiences, understanding concepts about sex, and my general musings about being labelled as” having a low sex drive” and how I manage.
Use this site however you’d like.
If one week something sparks your fancy, you try and and it works, well, fabulous! But maybe the next week it doesn’t. Just keep going and try something else. We’re all unique and our sex drives will differ from person to person, and from week to week. And that’s OK.